It's not what you're thinking. I haven't called it quits or packed my bags for the U.S. Actually, the title of this entry refers to the feeling I had when I was riding the bus into town yesterday, after my weekend in Nananu-i-ra. After spending a couple of days on a remote island off the coast of Viti Levu, I was surprised at how glad I was to be "coming home" to my apartment in the city. I just had that "I'm home" feeling, you know? It felt really good.
So I went to Nananu-i-ra for a couple of days with a few students from the U.S. who are doing a semester abroad here in Fiji. In a word, it was relaxing. The weather wasn't the greatest; it was cloudy and damp the entire time I was there, but we did manage to make the best of it. I went on a hike through the jungle and up into the highlands with this kid named Josh and a girl named Elicia. There wasn't much of a path most of the time and we should have packed a machete along, but we made it there and back again against the odds. Our trek was consumed with conversations about self-discovery, books and films that inspire us, digressions of humor of course, and ramblings about God and life and our place in the mix of all of it. It was enlightening to say the least. I feel I should note for some reason I think there's a purpose behind Josh and I meeting each other. Through our conversations it's become clear that we have similar life experiences and been through some of the same hardships. I'm not sure what God is going to teach me through meeting him, but it's refreshing to cross paths with a kindred spirit of sorts whilst here in a foreign land.
The rest of our days were pretty lax. I spent some time reading, thinking, and praying about my time here. I've still been struggling to figure out the purpose for which I've been sent to this place. I believe there are lessons to be learned for sure, but I'm still grasping at straws to discern what sort of wisdom I'm to be obtaining. I read something this weekend that struck me, however - "The teacher will teach only when the student is ready." I keep saying to myself "I'm ready!" but perhaps patience is the lesson itself.
I feel like I'm starting to turn a new leaf here. I really want to dive in. I have to admit that although I was sent here as an Ambassadorial Scholar, I haven't felt like much of an ambassador. I think I was just hesitant to commit myself to being here, maybe physically, but not emotionally or spiritually. In a way, and this sounds horrible, I was just hoping to get through each day by remembering that I'm a day closer to returning home. I couldn't admit that to myself, though, much less other people. I hope that doesn't offend anyone, I'm just being honest. Due to the fact that I wasn't sure I was even going to come here until about 3 weeks before my plane took off, my shotgun trip to Fiji wasn't something I was exactly prepared for mentally. For the first time in my life, I really wanted to be home in Iowa (I love Iowa!) but then whatever higher power who calls the shots was shipping me off to Fiji and I wasn't ready. The good news: I'm ready! I don't know what happened, but I just got a feeling the other day that made me super excited to be here! It's like I got my curiosity back; I want to explore, I want to invest. In fact, although I've been here for a month or so, I've decided that today is Day 1 for me here. I may have said it already by now, but I really mean it this time - I'm excited to be in Fiji! It's about time.
I know this post is a lot more reflective than my others so far, but I hope you'll bear with my ramblings. I still haven't found a proper journal yet, so I guess I'm using this site as the outlet for my thought-vomit. For what it's worth, thanks for sticking with me. OK, I've gotta go do some homework. For any of you who were wondering, grad school is tough even in a third-world country, haha! Take care and know that you are missed! I'll let you know what lessons I learn as soon as I realize them myself. Peace and grace.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
The Can Opener
Last Wednesday night Nina and I were at Cost U Less (ironically named, 'cause most things cost you more) shopping for some food and housewares for the flat. After searching high and low we could not locate a can opener. We decided we had enough food we could make for dinner that night without it so we thought we'd check out and head back home. Let's just say I'm glad we couldn't find one.
After checking out and loading up a heaping cart full of bought-in-bulk groceries, Nina and I were approached by an Australian woman named Jessica. Since she had overheard us, she thought she'd advise us on where to find a quality can opener fit for first-worlders like ourselves (one that wouldn't brake after six uses or so) and even offered us a ride home in her car. We only talked to her for 10 minutes; about the Ambassadorial Scholarship, settling into Suva, and about not having time to get to the beach yet 'cause of all the stress of getting settled. Nina and I didn't think anything would come out of what we were saying, just smalltalk. Boy were we wrong! Jessica told us that her and her husband own the Beach House, a backpacker's resort in the Western Division which was once the site for a British TV show called Love Island (kind of like Real World, ahhh YouTube!). Here comes the good part! Within a few minutes the woman was offering us her home. She was off on a trip for the weekend and asked us to stay in her house on the water, food's on her. To top it all off, she said we could take her daughter's car for a couple days, she'd drop it off in the morning! I know some of you are thinking that I'm lying, but I assure you I'm not! Needless to say, we accepted the offer.
So I've just come back from my weekend getaway at Love Island and although I did not find the woman of my dreams, I did get to relax and forget about the stresses of living in the hustle and bustle of the city. It was truly what I needed and the beach was absolutely breathtaking. Sunsets, sea, palms, sand and sky - it was phenomenal. I even got to realize one of my dreams; I got to play my guitar in a hammock on the beach. It was tough, but somebody had to do it!
Alas, the weekend is over now, but I've returned to my city dwelling renewed. Yesterday, I did laundry by hand. Let's just say I felt like Laura Ingalls Wilder. Although I did not have a washboard, it took me about 5 hours of soaking, kneading, ringing, hanging, and ironing to get my clothes ready to wear again. It really made me appreciate the modern amenities of the American household. Even the wealthy here rarely have a drier, but have their housekeepers hang clothes on the line and press them afterwards. You have to iron your clothes post-hang because it's too humid here for anything to dry before it gets musty. I think I'm going to be glad I only have lectures twice a week, not for the free time but just so I'll have time to get my laundry done. Holy cow!
Time is starting to pass by quicker now and I'm starting to get into a routine. Admittedly, I still find time in the day to miss people and places back home, but I can tell that the things I'm learning here are worth it already. I hope all of you are taking good care of yourselves and loving life as it should be loved. You're in my thoughts and prayers continually. Peace and grace, y'all.
After checking out and loading up a heaping cart full of bought-in-bulk groceries, Nina and I were approached by an Australian woman named Jessica. Since she had overheard us, she thought she'd advise us on where to find a quality can opener fit for first-worlders like ourselves (one that wouldn't brake after six uses or so) and even offered us a ride home in her car. We only talked to her for 10 minutes; about the Ambassadorial Scholarship, settling into Suva, and about not having time to get to the beach yet 'cause of all the stress of getting settled. Nina and I didn't think anything would come out of what we were saying, just smalltalk. Boy were we wrong! Jessica told us that her and her husband own the Beach House, a backpacker's resort in the Western Division which was once the site for a British TV show called Love Island (kind of like Real World, ahhh YouTube!). Here comes the good part! Within a few minutes the woman was offering us her home. She was off on a trip for the weekend and asked us to stay in her house on the water, food's on her. To top it all off, she said we could take her daughter's car for a couple days, she'd drop it off in the morning! I know some of you are thinking that I'm lying, but I assure you I'm not! Needless to say, we accepted the offer.
So I've just come back from my weekend getaway at Love Island and although I did not find the woman of my dreams, I did get to relax and forget about the stresses of living in the hustle and bustle of the city. It was truly what I needed and the beach was absolutely breathtaking. Sunsets, sea, palms, sand and sky - it was phenomenal. I even got to realize one of my dreams; I got to play my guitar in a hammock on the beach. It was tough, but somebody had to do it!
Alas, the weekend is over now, but I've returned to my city dwelling renewed. Yesterday, I did laundry by hand. Let's just say I felt like Laura Ingalls Wilder. Although I did not have a washboard, it took me about 5 hours of soaking, kneading, ringing, hanging, and ironing to get my clothes ready to wear again. It really made me appreciate the modern amenities of the American household. Even the wealthy here rarely have a drier, but have their housekeepers hang clothes on the line and press them afterwards. You have to iron your clothes post-hang because it's too humid here for anything to dry before it gets musty. I think I'm going to be glad I only have lectures twice a week, not for the free time but just so I'll have time to get my laundry done. Holy cow!
Time is starting to pass by quicker now and I'm starting to get into a routine. Admittedly, I still find time in the day to miss people and places back home, but I can tell that the things I'm learning here are worth it already. I hope all of you are taking good care of yourselves and loving life as it should be loved. You're in my thoughts and prayers continually. Peace and grace, y'all.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Settling In
I've been in Fiji for two weeks! I've been wanting to blog for quite sometime now, but just haven't found the time to sit down and write. Plus, I've been consumed with finding a flat, getting registered for classes, and adjusting to the super-heat that is the Fijian climate.
I must admit it's been a rocky couple of weeks for me. I've been in paradise for longer than most people take vacations here, but for awhile all I had was a farmer's tan to show for it! I've finally moved into a flat though and am getting settled into my life here. If any of you want to visit, it should be noted that I have a fantastic ocean view from my apartment so it would be wise to bring a book or two to read while chillin' on the balcony!
After moving into my new place, I finally felt ready to enjoy myself a little and do something fun. This weekend was the perfect opportunity. I was invited by my roommate, Nina (another Rotary Ambassadorial Scholar), to do a canopy tour in the mountain jungles outside of Suva. For those of you that don't know what a canopy tour is, essentially it's a series of zip lines set up in the canopy of the jungle. You zip from platform to platform through the trees and over rivers and gorges and such. Needless to say, it was a blast! Nina and I decided we needed some R&R after our adventure in the jungle, so we chilled ocean side on Sunday. We caught some rays and evened out the tan-lines. It was a rockin' weekend!
I gotta thank Rotary for the chance to do the canopy tour. Nina's Rotary host (prior to the move-in) was the one who invited us to come along with her on a company outing for the day. All the Rotary people here have been super helpful with flat-searching and getting settled. Plus, getting to do something like that would have been a lot more expensive than it was with they're help. The volunteer projects are on the way too, so soon I'll be blogging about that as well!
With the adventuring and R&R, I have to say that I still miss America from time to time. I don't think I quite knew what I was getting myself into coming to a developing country. Sometimes I'm a bit taken aback when I see the divide between the rich and poor here or sense the divisions between different races, which is a different story altogether. I cannot even count the number of times a day I hear comments that refer to the racial and cultural tensions that exist in the Fijian society. I remember reading in my Lonely Planet book (thanks Mom!) about the distinct cultural groups that are here in the Islands, but of course the tourist books won't tell you about the tensions that exist as well. You begin to get a sense of this within the first couple of days. It became clear to me that discrimination is common practice as well when I went to the High Commission to get my Visa processed. While I sat in a row of chairs waiting to be served, I watched others with darker skin walk through the door and get served immediately. At first I thought it was my fault; perhaps I wasn't being assertive enough, it had nothing to do with race. But when a white woman from Australia came in and joined me in a prolonged wait, I knew it was because of the color of our skin. It's been a really humbling experience living here and being judged by my skin color. The positive side is that I've grown in my empathy for those who've been discriminated against back home. I have an invaluable experience with knowing discrimination, a feeling which many white Americans will never fully grasp. I must admit this has caused me a lot of frustration in these past couple of weeks, but in the end I know it is a privilege to truly know that feeling.
So those are some of my first impressions/experiences. That's all I've got for now. I'm looking forward to getting into some volunteer projects here with Rotary and venturing outside of Suva a bit. I'll keep you posted. Overall, I'm excited to be here and adjusting to the idea that I'll be here for awhile. The biggest thing I miss from home is the people. Please stay in touch and know that you're in my thoughts and prayers daily. Peace, y'all.
I must admit it's been a rocky couple of weeks for me. I've been in paradise for longer than most people take vacations here, but for awhile all I had was a farmer's tan to show for it! I've finally moved into a flat though and am getting settled into my life here. If any of you want to visit, it should be noted that I have a fantastic ocean view from my apartment so it would be wise to bring a book or two to read while chillin' on the balcony!
After moving into my new place, I finally felt ready to enjoy myself a little and do something fun. This weekend was the perfect opportunity. I was invited by my roommate, Nina (another Rotary Ambassadorial Scholar), to do a canopy tour in the mountain jungles outside of Suva. For those of you that don't know what a canopy tour is, essentially it's a series of zip lines set up in the canopy of the jungle. You zip from platform to platform through the trees and over rivers and gorges and such. Needless to say, it was a blast! Nina and I decided we needed some R&R after our adventure in the jungle, so we chilled ocean side on Sunday. We caught some rays and evened out the tan-lines. It was a rockin' weekend!
I gotta thank Rotary for the chance to do the canopy tour. Nina's Rotary host (prior to the move-in) was the one who invited us to come along with her on a company outing for the day. All the Rotary people here have been super helpful with flat-searching and getting settled. Plus, getting to do something like that would have been a lot more expensive than it was with they're help. The volunteer projects are on the way too, so soon I'll be blogging about that as well!
With the adventuring and R&R, I have to say that I still miss America from time to time. I don't think I quite knew what I was getting myself into coming to a developing country. Sometimes I'm a bit taken aback when I see the divide between the rich and poor here or sense the divisions between different races, which is a different story altogether. I cannot even count the number of times a day I hear comments that refer to the racial and cultural tensions that exist in the Fijian society. I remember reading in my Lonely Planet book (thanks Mom!) about the distinct cultural groups that are here in the Islands, but of course the tourist books won't tell you about the tensions that exist as well. You begin to get a sense of this within the first couple of days. It became clear to me that discrimination is common practice as well when I went to the High Commission to get my Visa processed. While I sat in a row of chairs waiting to be served, I watched others with darker skin walk through the door and get served immediately. At first I thought it was my fault; perhaps I wasn't being assertive enough, it had nothing to do with race. But when a white woman from Australia came in and joined me in a prolonged wait, I knew it was because of the color of our skin. It's been a really humbling experience living here and being judged by my skin color. The positive side is that I've grown in my empathy for those who've been discriminated against back home. I have an invaluable experience with knowing discrimination, a feeling which many white Americans will never fully grasp. I must admit this has caused me a lot of frustration in these past couple of weeks, but in the end I know it is a privilege to truly know that feeling.
So those are some of my first impressions/experiences. That's all I've got for now. I'm looking forward to getting into some volunteer projects here with Rotary and venturing outside of Suva a bit. I'll keep you posted. Overall, I'm excited to be here and adjusting to the idea that I'll be here for awhile. The biggest thing I miss from home is the people. Please stay in touch and know that you're in my thoughts and prayers daily. Peace, y'all.
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