Transformation

Sometimes the most profound of realizations occur in life's most insignificant moments.

Last week I was playing cards with some friends at USP and I realized something - I live here; I'm not a visitor. I have friends and family, a life here... I didn't expect it to happen within only one year, but I can't express how "normal" my life has become in Fiji. I don't know how much of it was evident in my blogs, but for months and months I struggled with a terrible case of homesickness (I still have my moments!). Now, however, I miss home but it's not the same. I tried explaining it to a couple of friends via email and put it this way: It's similar to the way I felt about Boone after leaving for college and being at Central for a year or so. I missed home a little every now and again (people mostly), but somewhere along the line I made a transition and my life became as busy and full as it was before, just in a new place. The same is true for me now and I honestly can't believe I'm saying it! It's clear by my lack of blogging that life here has become more normal now and the things I once thought blog-worthy rarely even make it in my journal (I am really sorry for the lack of updates though, eeek!).
I think a big part of the transformation lies in the fact that I know I've only got a short time to go and I'm just trying to enjoy it while it lasts and learn all I can each day. This past weekend I went to Ba with my adoptive brother Akmal to spend some time with the family. We visited with aunts and uncles, saw his school and some other sites around where he grew up, and shared lots of meals with the family. It was a really great weekend and I'm super glad I went. I think the coolest part was seeing how close Akmal and the family are with each other. We didn't call ahead of time when visiting people, just showed up and were offered food and drink. Different relatives were in and out of the house and everyone shared everything. By the end of the weekend Akmal's mother began calling me "my son" and I've been explained that his father's gestures suggest that I'm a part of the family now. I'm really grateful to Akmal for showing me his home and life in Ba. From now on, he will forever be my bhai jan.
Seeing the family interact made me realize just how much I take mine for granted back home. I know that one of the things I will take away from this experience is a sense of appreciation for those who have helped me get to where I am today. It is evident in both the Indigenous Fijian and Indo-Fijian culture that strong family ties are central to everyday life. I've decided I'm going to adopt this philosophy as well. It's not that I don't have good relationships with my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. but I don't know many of them as well as I would like to and I'm certainly not up to speed on what's going on in their lives. That's a shame, I'm incredibly blessed to have an amazing family! I've decided I'm going to try and amend this when I get back. I just wish I could make it back for Thanksgiving this year. It could be worse though and I will see many of them very soon.
It's strange to think that in only a couple of months I will be going home (inshallah), leaving a place that has made an unexplainable and immeasurable impact on my life. While playing cards, I realized that I'll never be the same and I'll always be connected to this place no matter where I end up. It was a strange feeling but a good one.